Last night i got to thinking alot about my life and where it is going. I don't go to church like i should, my son asks me questions all the time and i just don't really know what to say to him. He knows that there is a heaven and that his papa and tommy joe and tells me all the time that they are up their watching. I have also been questioning things to. I have decided that it is the right time to start going and finding out where i belong in life. I guess all this stuff might sound stupid, but i am so young (22 in december) and really i am just lost in this world. I have been having anxiety attacks to the point where i have to be put on oxygen so i can breath better and i have to take different medications. then also getting the tension headaches because i am so stressed the tendons and muscles in my neck tighten up. I really want to find myself and the place i am lost is with god. i really need to find him.
The other night i started thinking about what if i was to die tonight and never wake up. what would happen to me? well i want to know that i will get to go with the rest of my family that has passed on.
This time of the year always gets me down, in 2005 i lost a friend, step-sister and my dad all in one month, right before my nineteenth birthday, then last year on michaels birthday i lost a good friend of mine that we graduated together. I think this time of the year is changing not just the weather but for your souls. so have a great wednesday!!
I wanted to add a peom on here about my friend tommy
god saw that he was getting tired
and the cure was not to be
so he put his arms around him and
whispered come with me
with tearful eyes we watched him suffer
and saw him fade away
although we loved him dearly
we could not make him stay
a golden heart stopped beating
busy little hands to rest
god broke our hearts to prove to us
he only takes the best
its lonesome here without you
we miss you so each day
our lives aren't the same
since you went away
when days are sad and lonely
and everything goes wrong
we seem to hear you whisper
cheer up and carry on
each time we see your picture
you seem to smile and say
don't cry, im in gods keeping
well meet again someday
Lucky girl syndrome
1 month ago
2 comments:
Tessa,
We have all felt lost in this world. I'm so happy to read that you realize God is the only one who can fill that void, who can make your path smooth. God is the only one who can give your life direction! While God is dealing with your heart, you stand before a door that leads to an entirely different kingdom! The word of God says, "Ask, and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find; Knock and it shall be opened unto you." Matthew 7:7 This is the time for a change! A change where you will breathe freely. There will be no need for anxiety attacks, for your life will forever be rested in the loving hands of God. Once we make the decision to give ourselves wholly and completely to HIM, then our problems become HIS. He is the ULITMATE Father who wants the very best for HIS children. The Holy Spirit is speaking to your heart, do not take it lightly,for now, Today is the day of complete salvation. Sieze this moment!
"As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. For he says, 'In the time of my favour I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.' I tell you, now is the time of God's favour, now is the day of salvation" (2 Corinthians 6:1-2)
We love you so much!!!!! Call if you need to talk!!!!!!!!!
Yup...finding your place with God makes everything else just work so much better...keeps you grounded...and makes happiness a daily event. Good luck with your quest. And yes...you can be a family forever! Not just here on earth.
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